I'm in love. I'm opening up my heart, and suddenly I just remember her. Madonna.
People around me used to laugh when I said that Madonna is my idol. In Indonesia there many people think that Madonna is nothing but a bitchy figure, so I think that automatically I will look a little bitchy when I mentioned my name in my idol list. An extreme example, one day I edited a short video clip for disaster risk reduction education project for primary schools and I put a cut from Isaac, Madonna's song there. A 11 year old student stood up after he read the subtitle mentioning Madonna's name there. "You should not put Madonna's song in education video for us. She's not a good woman!" Ouch...
I remembered how I first found an article on Madonna. I was an elementary school student who had not even turn to 10 yet. I was impressed by the pictures. I loved to see her expression. She looked strong and gorgeous. Deeper than that, the article was about how hard she tried to reach her dream. It was when she couldn’t even afford to rent a flat, when she stripped to make money, when she was in the way of finding her image for public. I found her beautiful and strong, even at that time she likely tried too hard to look like Marilyn Monroe.
I really didn’t care about her voice that some people at that time mentioned to sound like Minnie Mouse. I didn’t even understand the meanings of her songs as English was still far away from my memory. I just found her great and cool, and in a way I wanted to be as brave as her.
It is an almost utopia for a Javanese girl like me to dare to be different, to expose myself as much as Madonna. I give my two thumbs up for her guts-exposing her sex appeals, being condemned and never give a damn of it. Self esteem is I think the key word of all. And that is the thing that I want to possess always. I want to be as brave as her, showing whatever I am and just let the world, as usual, judge me, but I will go on, brighter, flying higher. I was born not to be as extreme as her, but there are many things that I want to reveal without hesitation.
Life is a paradox, just like what is mentioned in Like It or Not. The things that some other people hate might be what the others love best. Listen to Like It or Not,
“this is who I am, you can like it or not, you can love me or leave me coz I’m never gonna stop”.
That is the thing that I want to say always. I wanna have my personal style and people hate me or love me all the way I am. Some narrow minded persons would call it selfish, but some wider minded person would call it personal choices that will color up plurality.
I think Madonna and I look bad for some people to push the idea of like it or not, when you see only the above paragraph. But some people forget that she also has another dimension that I love: her hard work. She’s a living reminder that we can gain nothing if we don’t sweat. But hard work means more than that. It takes a brain. Creativeness, energy, management: see how Madonna never produced something boring. She knows how to innovate. She knows how to be good, in music, lyrics or looks. She knows how to manage all resources she needs, arranger up to the dancer, make up artist up to promotion. She can sing, she can dance, she can write, she can make story books for children. Tell me, how many people in this world can do the same thing as her?
She’s a mother, a wife, a believer, and above all, she looks good. She knows how to love her body and soul. And I think, many times I have said that I wanna be in her shape when I turn 40. :p
She concerns about her environment. As brave as when she says her revenge in “You’ll See”. She makes me feel stronger. I am a woman with self-esteem. I wouldn’t cry for things that I can get better in very near future. That is I think, the way I learn to stand up again quickly after I fall. She never taught me to dream too high, but she tells me exactly how to stay tough. :)
And why I feel that I’m so much in love again with her tonight? I’m finding back love in my life, and as it is said in Something to Remember,
"...We weren't meant to be, at least not in this lifetime,
But you gave me something to remember
I hear you still say, "Love yourself...."
I got it. That's the idea of all her songs, of all the messages, of all the strengh. Love yourself. (thanks also for my Habibi, for teaching me how to walk on that idea)