Come On, People!

This evening I opened Shine by Yahoo!, and my eyes caught something: Who’s the next star to enter the reality arena? Spitzer’s hooker, Ashley Dupré. I am against prostitution, and I hate prostitutes. However I was a little surprised to feel the heat in the comments, especially because I thought that Westerners are more liberal in viewing an issue. Yet seems that the Culture Code, not only here but also at the West perceive prostitution and a prostitute similarly. Here are some comments from the community:

Posted by Erika K 3 hours 54 minutes ago
thats nasty a dating show with a prostitute as your grand prize, which man in his right mind would kiss a woman that has had how ever many d^cks in her mouth and then sum. thats nasty

Posted by nini 3 hours 12 minutes ago
I thought the FCC wanted to keep crap off the tv??? This is awful. Gross people should not be rewarded with fame. Is she expecting to find Mr. Right with all her experience

Posted by elle 2 hours 12 minutes ago
ms. high priced prostitute "wants to eliminate all negativity from her life and focus on the positive??" o.k. this is just downright absurd... and disgraceful. lil ms. hooker should be in a cell - not on television. this so makes me question the judicial system - yet again.

Posted by elle 1 hour 16 minutes ago
springtime ~ she's been used and reused already - over and over again. also, this happens when your cute, this is in no way beautiful, and she does have a brain. a female prostitute brain, the brain that made her use her body to make lots of money, has now upgraded her degrading self to national television.
as far as being replaced ... as much as I dislike what she is/does - this one will probably (with the help of past old/rich clients) make it for a very long time

Posted by werbiefitz 54 minutes ago
Can you see the discussion in millions of homes?? Mommy, Daddy....what's a hooker??? Are they going to show her medical report to potential "dates" so they can be sure they won't catch something from her?? TV has truly sunk to a new low

The key words about the prostitute were nasty, "sick"...("which man in his right mind would...), crap, awful, gross people, absurd and disgraceful, should be in a cell, qustion the judicial system, in no way beautiful, use her body to make lots of money, children qustions, medical report, catch something from her... Semantically there are many connotative meanings there, that I am sure you can read between the line.. Those spotted not only the prostitute but also her customers.

Last Saturday I watched Oprah on Metro TV, featuring Bill Cosby and Alvin F. Poussaint, MD who wrote "Come On People!". Inspirational true events of human beings fighting hardships and succeeding are throughout the book. Come On People addresses the following imperative issues: the need for a positive community; nurturing children; educating children; combating violence and achieving prosperity, and it emphasized so much on wrong things that are going on but being let alone as part of community's life.

One of the issues raised that caught my attention was prostitution, and Cosby was bluntly stated his disagreement towards "It's Hard Out There To Be A Pimp". In his own way he stated the lack of good examples in community, that very often he feels like yelling, "Come On, People!!"

Now, this is my story...

When I was naive, 8-10 years ago or so, I used to be involved in the "empowerment" of sexual workers. I helped promoting the use of condoms and some protective measures to protect them from sexually transmitted diseases and HIV. In the name of harm reduction, I used to be told that it was also to protect innocent wives at home from getting the virus from their swinger husbands, and I believed I was sort of doing heroic moves.

I used to ride around my hometown with my old crush, a young and charming doctor to some dim spots of the city, talking to the ones that we were so insisting to call as "sexual workers", and screening their health. It was not rare that the medical examination was done right on the spot, behind the walls of closed stores or big tress, and it was not rare also that I went home after midnight as my old crush was taking time to treat gonnorhea of his patients, also on the spot.

I saw those girls merely as victims. I was so much into black and white opinions, influenced by news in the papers saying that teenagers were sold by the parent, or that they were raped, or that they were dumped by their boyfriends after losing their virginity, or that they are very poor, that they arrived into sexual industry and stayed there. I took so much symphaty on them in the beginning, with my idealistic friends who were dreaming of saving the world.

Yet I knew that there was something wrong. If they were all that suffering, how can they make those giggles? How can they stay so lazy, that very often in the afternoon in Sunan Kuning area, they just sat, chatted, painted their nails, gossiping and teasing any men passing by?

If they were that suffering so much of doing the job, then why do they stay there? Why did any handicraft classes that we held had never produced a girl who pledged, "I'm getting out of this red light district, I will do another business."?

The more I digged deep, the more I talked to them, and the more I lived more hardships in my own life, then the more I know that mostly, being a PROSTITUTE (sorry, I don't wanna use "sexual WORKER" term anymore) is about PERSONAL CHOICE. One thing I remembered so much was when a prostitute proudly told us, "why should I work in other place? my job here is easy. Just laying down, play a little, and I earn much more than those who get sweaty from other job."

Also, I used to have a college mate working as a call girl. She used to persuade me, "Hey, where else in the world you can find money and pleasure coming together as apackage?"

As a woman, who later living serious relationship with man, I felt that it is not fair to always protect those groups of people, who don't care if their customers are married or in relationship, whether they are a young boy persuaded by his friends to try his gut or a nasty ugly old guy. I deconstructed my thoughts, starting to have conservative opinion that the prostitution is a threat to all.

Then actually, from those days on, I started to doubt my choice to assist in reproductive health campaign for them, and gradually I stopped.

As a woman, growing with all possible hardships in life and struggling hard to survive, I found that their statements and view of life are offensive. I that see the maids, laundry girls or cleaning service girls who mop the dirty floors are far much more graceful than those who sell their body, artificial hospitality, fake smiles, basic seducing techniques by basic touch (and stupidly enough, the stupid men are happy to buy it!), selling and buying ANIMAL-like relations, short term, super-shallow, ridiculous, and of course, CHEAP. It is indeed, very very disgusting.

Only weak, foolish, disgraceful, desperate, and dumb woman and man would do those kinds of transactions. If a man, with his money, would ever feel powerful of being able to buy the service, than he is NOT a powerful man at all. A powerful man is a man who can win the real love, real affection, real support. When he needs money to purchase intimacy then he should realize that there is something significant missing from his state of being as a man.

And when a woman is willing to sell her body and soul for some bills and some shallow pleasure of feeling wanted, then it not only her dignity, but also her honesty should be questioned. Many of them living in higher standard than what they can afford with other kinds of job. Then they needed more and more cash, that they got so easily but they never feel enough. I used to work also in an event organizer company, where I saw some of those cute models or sales promotion girls stated that they are happy to have super extra income only by "becoming friend" to some guests for one night or so.

As this world is getting more materialistic, those supply and demand chains are becoming more and more extended. Instead of working hard on improving their working skills or knowledge to reach better place at formal work, there are more girls or boys choosing the shortcut, knowing that their bodies are soldable to a great market of many customers. If they are lucky they can enjoy the nights with good looking customers with good money, thinking and hoping that those customers might really have a crush on them so they can live the Pretty Woman story.

Sadly enough, many have started when they are still teenagers. The saddest thing of that is that also there is inevitable fact showing that the customers DO NOT CARE if the hook up with under-age prostitutes. It is really unethical, especially because adult community should be the protector of children community. But again, what can we expect from careless, foolish man who doesn't even have a power on himself?

Combatting prostitution? Nonsense, as he is still the user of the service itself.

Protecting community? No way. What do he care, if he doesn't even care to sleep with the under ages?

Therefore, I am 1000% agree that any high officials caught to use, or ever use prostitution service should be dismissed from their position. Following Bill Cosby, I'd like to yell, come on people, we can set and live good examples instead of MAKING EXCUSES!

I am happy, despite of major cultural differences, most East and West speak similarly about this issue. Then I think "Come On, People" can speak across the boundaries of cultures and nations. Hopefully. :)